


The Happiest Place (in Our Apartment)

by Romansleftshoulderpad



Series: Cast Member AU [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Human AU, Other, Platonic Logince - Freeform, Rated teen for language, virgil and patton are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24539035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romansleftshoulderpad/pseuds/Romansleftshoulderpad
Summary: Being a travel vlogger during quarantine isn't easy, but when Logan decides to recreate a handful of Disney rides at home, he and Roman learn that being stuck inside isn't all that bad.Welcome to the first official part of my Cast Member au :)
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Cast Member AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773499
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36





	The Happiest Place (in Our Apartment)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Princey! I didn't initially write this as a birthday fic but I couldn't think of a better time to post it!  
> Trigger warnings for: mentions of quarantine, some suggestive humor, food, joking death threats, and Roman getting jumpscared.

Logan stabilized the camera and double-checked that everything was in order before pressing record. It was quarantine which really didn’t help when you make your living from vlogs. He took a deep breath. “Hello, faithful viewers, I hope you’re all doing well. I’ve noticed a trend on Twitter where pass holders have recreated- in a sense- their favorite rides from the parks.” He sneakily grabbed a pen from his desk, just to have something to fiddle with. Intros were always the worst part of recording, in his humble opinion, there was nothing to  _ do  _ other than state facts that viewers would already know from the title! “Now as I happen to live  _ with  _ an actual cast member, Disney never fully leaves my house.” He made a mental note to show off Roman’s many displays while editing. “So, I’ve decided to take this challenge to the next step and have my roommate rate these rides.”

Roman waited an appropriate amount of time before coughing into his arm,  _ “Nerd.”  _

Logan turned off the camera and threw him a mock glare. “This was half your idea.”

“I sent one video to you and Virgil, I hardly think that counts as an idea.”

“Yeah, well, you agreed to help, which makes this your fault,” Logan teased. “Now, obviously I can’t use your assistance in making these homages, but I will need every fake bird you own.”

—-

Logan shouldn’t have been surprised at how many cheap leis they owned. They kept them all in a box and Roman refused to get rid of any (in addition to the ones they got from their other friends). Nonetheless, he at least found use for them. 

He could hear Roman from outside the door, “Logan told me to record some stuff. I’ve never been much of a vlogger, but it’s always fun to help. Plus, I want to see if I can get any hints to what he’s doing through the door.”

“Not a chance!” Logan yelled, accidentally knocking over his step stool in the process. 

“Carousel of Progress!"

“No!”

He finally got all the leis on the birds and connected the speaker. He turned off the lights and prepared the press play on his phone. The camera was recording, he opened the door a tiny crack and whispered, “Are you ready, big boy?”

Roman rolled his eyes. He stepped inside and froze as the lights came on. “Oh no.”

“Welcome to Disney World,” Logan teased, as he pressed play on his phone and “In the Tiki Room” blasted from multiple speakers.

“You are insufferable!” he yelled. “Zero out of ten stars!”

—-

“You officially owe me one,” Roman said, digging into a homemade dole whip. 

“You live in my house, I think we’re about even.”

Roman ate another bite of dole whip. “Right.”

“But I  _ might  _ be inclined to let you play pretend work,” he added. 

Roman smiled. “I’m turning you into a Disney princess.”

“I assume nothing less. Do I at least get a choice of which princess?”

He smirked through another scoop of ice cream. “Depends on how the rest of your vlog goes.”

—-

“Logan, do I want to know what this next attraction is?”

“Nope, it’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Can you at least tell me why I’m blindfolded?”

“Also no,” Logan said, glancing back at the camera. He held Roman tightly in his arms. “But do you remember when Jungle Cruise sank earlier this year?”

“Logan...”

“Yeah, Roman?” Logan asked. 

“What the fuck are you- DON’T YOU DARE-“ There was a large splash as Roman was dropped into the tub. He ripped off his blindfold and glared. 

Logan put a Santa hat on his head. “Now it’s Jingle Cruise.”

“I hate you, you’re the worst roommate in the world, and I never want to see your face ever again,” Roman said. He couldn’t continue to hold back his laughter as he faced the camera. “Six out of ten stars.”

“Is that so?”

“Plus a bonus for holiday overlay. Seven out of ten.”

“Thank you, Roman.”

—-

“Now, this last attraction has  _ cost  _ me, to say the least,” Logan said, holding the camera in one hand and gesturing to the door behind him with the other. “The others were fairly simple- and if you enjoyed them please do consider leaving a like and a comment, as well as clicking ‘subscribe’ if you’re so inclined- I hope to do another one of these videos with, perhaps, a different park. I hear Universal shall be reopening soon, perhaps I will take some inspiration from them.” He glanced up at the clock. “I sent Roman out while I set this up, but he should be back any minute now. Depending on the wait, I may have to edit this later, though I’d hate to shut off the camera.”

He later found himself editing nearly five minutes of rambling to himself out of the video before Roman arrived, tired and sweaty. 

“It’s really hot out there,” was all Roman could justify before taking a massive gulp of water. 

“Well, we are recreating outdoor ride queues in central Florida,” Logan teased. “It wouldn’t be accurate if you weren’t dying a little.”

“I hate you.”

“This ride has a gift shop at the end of it! And by that I do mean a box of all your things I had to borrow for the Tiki Room.”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Oh, a wonderful start by Roman at guessing what this last attraction is,” Logan said to the camera. 

“I can’t believe it,” Roman deadpanned. “You’re the little dead girl from Tower of Terror.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Oh, be smart, Roman. I’ve been consistent with my park for this long, would I give up now?”

“What?”

He pushed open the door, revealing the room to be lit only by flickering (fake) candles. Virgil’s voice could be heard through a speaker. “When hinges creak in doorless chambers...”

Roman let out a tiny gasp as projections started around him of familiar paintings (though he knew he was only seeing parts of them). He smiled as Virgil’s recording continued, “When candlelights flicker where the air is deathly still- that is the time when  _ ghosts  _ are present, practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.”

“How much did you have to pay him for this?” Roman asked. 

“Not much, just five bucks,” Logan said. He mumbled under his breath, “multiplied by ten.”

The projections began to move, revealing more of the paintings at a speed that felt far too slow to be noticeable. “Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your  _ ghost  _ host....”

“You know, these shouldn’t be moving yet,” Roman teased.

Logan groaned. “I know, it’s killing me.”

“Here you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state. Kindly step all the way in, please, and make room for everyone.” Virgil’s voice lowered, “There’s no turning back now.” 

Roman froze. “Is it just me or did he sound... very in  _ character  _ on that line?”

“You are aware that Virgil will likely see this video, yes?”

“If Disney doesn’t sue your ass over using their monologue in this video, let me know.”

“I’d honestly be surprised if they shut me down but continued to let ride through- oh you’re... you’re joking. That was a joke. I see.”

Roman gave Logan a gentle nudge and they both shared a smile. 

“And consider this dismaying observation: this chamber has no windows and no doors, which offers you  _ this  _ chilling challenge: to find a way out!” He let out a laugh and Logan tried not to draw attention to Roman’s slight blush. “Of course,” his voice dipped low again, “there’s always  _ my  _ way.” Logan quickly pulled at a string and a plastic skeleton fell- hanging from a noose- to the air in front of them Roman fell back with a scream. 

“That is  _ not  _ part of it!” 

“You and I seem to have different ideas of the ride then,” Logan teased.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to frighten you  _ pre-maturely _ . The real chills come later. Now, as they say, ‘look  _ alive,’  _ and Logan will continue your little tour.” There was a clicking noise as the audio ended. 

Roman gave him a quizzical glance but Logan only smirked and led him into the next room. Logan’s bookshelf- which was usually organized perfectly- was now messy with fake cobwebs and books falling diagonally and laying on their sides. “Our library is well stocked with priceless first editions- only ghost stories of course,” Logan said, straining his voice in an attempt to lower it like Virgil had done. 

“Your Paul Frees impression is awful.”

Logan responded with a gesture off camera. “And marble busts-” he gestured to various  _ Funko POP!s _ as he spoke “-of the greatest ghost writers the literary world has ever known. They have all retired  _ here,  _ to the Haunted Mansion.” He pointed a laser at a picture taped to the wall of the mansion in question. He then picked up a purple book- one Roman had seen in the shelves of gift stores around the properties- and continued, “We actually have nine hundred and ninety nine happy haunts here. But there’s room for a thousand. Any volunteers?” He laughed loudly, tossing his head back as he did so. Roman pushed back an uncomfortable feeling. 

“Maybe your impression isn’t  _ terrible.” _

Logan winked. “If you  _ should  _ decide to join us, final arrangements may be made at the end of the tour.” 

Roman blinked back to reality and continued looking around the room. Desks were lined with paper coffins and bats. Logan continued the monologue, but Roman found it easy to tune out something he had heard so often before. Logan’s ipad sat on his desk, showing a video of the famous clock just before the seance. 

Logan opened a closet door to reveal a black table with playing cards (apparently tarot cards were unavailable) and one of those kids’ hairstyling dolls with a blue wig. Logan turned on another speaker and a blue light. Leota’s speech came playing and Roman could see Logan rubbing at his throat. He made a note to make sure he drank water after the video. Maybe even tea with honey. He started to wonder  _ why  _ Logan had committed so much. Sure, YouTube was his job, but he wasn’t so desperate for views as to trash his own apartment. However, Roman was not granted much more time to wonder due to the looping speech being very short and  _ extremely  _ annoying to hear more than twice in a row. 

They walked silently across the living room towards the bathroom. “Forgetting something, Logan?” Roman teased.

“This is my own personal alternative universe headcanon where the ghost host doesn’t fuck off after the seance.”

“Do you know what half those words mean?” he asked. “Specifically in the order and context that you’ve said them in?” 

“Of course, I learned them from the tumblr and the interwebs.”

“You’re worse than Patton.”

“Agree to disagree, my fanatic friend.” 

“You stopped,” Roman said. 

“Yes, I have. Go on, open the door, Roman. You’re a big boy.”

_ “Logan.” _

“The ghost host isn't even supposed to be here.” 

“Fine, but I still don’t trust-” Roman let out a loud scream. Logan focused the camera in on the sight- a cardboard cutout of a nun from a horror movie with a printed out picture of a hatchet taped to her. She stood in the shower next to the opened and “bloodied” (it was a mix of dyed water and cornstarch) curtains. 

“Don’t have a heart attack, sixer. You’re not ninety three yet.”

“LOGAN, YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE FOUND DEAD IN MIAMI.”

Logan laughed- nothing like his previous evil cackle- he laughed with bubbles and snorted as he clutched his stomach. Roman considered his roommate to be the biggest nerd in Florida. 

“I’m going to kill you,” he warned.

“I’ll make it up to you, don’t worry.”

He grabbed Roman’s hand and helped pull him off of the floor, leading him to the kitchen where a tiny graveyard had been glued to cardboard. It was a perfect (though still) match of the ending to the ride, as if someone had taken a screenshot and printed out life.

“And there’s one thing I forgot to mention,” Logan said. He switched back to his (not great) impression, “Beware of Hitchhiking Ghosts.” He pulled a box out from under the counter and put it in front of Roman. He had stopped recording.

“Logan, what is this?” 

“That, Roman, is the fiftieth anniversary edition metallic Target exclusive Hitchhiking Ghost  _ Funko POP! _ set.”

“I can see that.”

“I told you this ride had a gift store.”

_ “No way-” _

“Surprise.”

“Thank you, Logan, really, but... you didn’t have to do this.”

“I’m aware, that’s what makes it a gift.”

“So... why did you?” he asked, holding the box close to his chest. 

“I wanted to do something nice for you.”

“You’ve done plenty of nice things for me and-”

“Roman,” he said sternly. “You’re my friend. I must be honest in saying that I had a motivation, I had noticed a slight decline in your mental health and believed this would be beneficial towards you.”

“This?”

“The- uh- the figurines, I mean.” 

Roman gave him a soft smile. “Thanks, Logan.”

“We both know how much I’ve done for you, but I don’t think  _ you  _ know why.”

“What a cryptic thing to say,” he joked.

“Roman.”

He let his gaze fall to the ground. “I know.”

“You don’t.” Logan gently lifted up his chin and they locked eyes. “But that’s okay. Now help me clean up before we film the outro.”

\---

“Thank you for watching,” Logan said, giving a signature smile. Not too wide, no teeth, keeping a professional aura. Roman wondered how much time he spent in the bathroom just practicing it. “Please do leave a comment or contact me on  _ Twitter _ if you have any requests for video ideas. We are all going through a lot right now, please remember to take care of your mental health and seek resources if and when you need them.” 

Roman kept watching him on the monitor. He still had that professional aura to him, but something soft and understanding in his eyes. No matter who you were or where you were, he seemed to be talking to  _ you.  _ He seemed to care about you. Roman smiled at the monitor, knowing first hand what that meant.

“Roman, would you like to comment?” Logan asked, snapping him back into reality. 

“Oh, uh, gay rights!” he said to the camera, trying to shake off any distractions. The last thing he needed was Logan’s fans questioning him on  _ Twitter _ . Again. 

“Well said, Roman. Gay rights, dear viewers. I’ll be returning next week.” He turned off the camera. And smiled. 

  
  



End file.
